My 嫲嫲 was a remarkable woman!

On Tuesday morning, October 4th I received a voicemail from my mom "Your grandma has died." My blackberry was acting up that morning, and I couldn't believe what I had heard. My grandma was recovering well in a rehab hospital after conducting a high risk hip surgery....how could she have died? But it was true. Her heart was working to hard trying to heal her body, and eventually it failed. She was 95 years old.

My grandmother was a remarkable woman. She was born November 22nd, 1915, amidst war and political turmoil in her country. She was the daughter of a wealthy merchant in Xinhui, China in Canton province, and had received education up until high school (which was not an easy feat in those days). When the communist took over China in 1949, her family was deeply affected. Her father was executed, and all of her family's possessions were seized. My grandparents were forced to flee, Von Trapp-style, in the middle of the night to Macau and eventually Hong Kong in order to avoid the same fate. My father was 1 years old when they fled Canton.

While in Hong Kong, my grandmother raised my aunts and uncles through hard times as their family of 7 lived in a small 1 bedroom apartment. Although food and money was scarce, studies, fun times and love were always abounding. She taught my aunts and uncles crafts to raise money; the importance of studies and classical literature; and the importance of integrity and justice and truth. My aunts and uncles are all amazing and kind people who love each other in a deep way, this is a testimony of my grandparents' parenting.

As a grandchild, I experienced the same love that my dad, aunts and uncles experienced. My grandmother showed boundless energy even after retirement by teaching me and my cousins classical Chinese literature (e.g. Tang poems), cooking up our favourite meals (e.g. chicken wings, hamburger meat, dumplings, zhong zi, tofu dessert, 角仔，馬豆糕，birthday pound cakes), pretending to be Santa late Christmas Eve so that we would wake up to a stocking full of candies and snacks, and hosting cousin sleepovers at her house so that we could play with each other. I long to go back to those days when I walked with her along Brimorton and Orton Park so that I could go to my Big Uncle's house to play with my cousins. I long for her beautiful smile and her saying "Oh you shouldn't have brought that" when I brought her flowers (she loved flowers). I long for her hugs and stroking my hair saying that I should cut it. I long for her floral birthday cards that come without fail, signed by hand with her name 嫲嫲.

I can't believe she's gone. But I'm glad that I was here, and not in Taiwan. Here for all of it. Here for her to see Mayah. Here for her when she fell. Here for her at the funeral. Here to say my goodbyes. I love you so much 嫲嫲.

You can read more about my 嫲嫲 here.

I am so pitiful 我很可憐

Lately Kasper will see an airplane in the sky, or a picture of an airplane, or a toy airplane and loudly shout "我想坐飛機去台灣!" (I want to take an airplane to Taiwan) and if we don't acknowledge him immediately he will proceed to shout, and repeat this phrase over and over again.

When asked "Why do you want to go back to Taiwan?" he will respond by saying "因為我好想瀚天， 還有janette阿姨， 還有老師。我很可憐!" (I miss my best friend L, I miss my nanny Auntie J, I miss my teacher. I am so pitiful!)

I can totally relate with him. I feel so sad too, I miss my 嫲嫲 (grandma).

Slow to Anger

James 1:19-21
"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."

I hate transitions. I like feeling clean and comfortable, and transitions usually mean having to make things clean and living out of a suitcase (i.e. not comfortable). Add to that a really bad memory and it makes finding things extra difficult. =P

I've realized lately how easy I am to anger. I've got a pretty bad tongue too when I'm angry. The words just spill out and I get quite sarcastic. The worst part is that the words come out really fast, I feel bad about it, but I'm usually still very angry at the person/situation so it's an internal battle that gets quite ugly.

Looked up the Homes & Rahe stress scale to see what stress scale I'm at. Total came to 299. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale

Score of 300+: At risk of illness.

Score of 150-299+: Risk of illness is moderate (reduced by 30% from the above risk).

Score 150-: Only have a slight risk of illness.

Man I'm getting close to that top range. Better start doing some deep breathing exercises. =P No wonder I'm quick to anger and quick to speak. Although I know....I can't make excuses for myself.

I'm shy....

So Kasper is now rattling on and on in Chinese & in English. It really is quite amazing how they can do that. With certain people he'll speak Chinese (me & Ray), with certain people he'll speak English (Auntie J, R Yee Yee, E Yee Yee, C Su Su).

Actually we had last minute visitors from Toronto and both T & J spoke to Kasper in Mandarin but for some reason he chose to speak Mandarin to T & English to J. J was slightly offended by this (she wasn't sure if it meant her Mandarin was not up to snuff!)

Usually in the elevator we bump into various neighbours and we've been trying to encourage him to greet them with a 早安 (good morning) or a 你好 (how do you do). Sometimes he'll just hide behind our legs and look at the wall and we'll apologize by saying he's 害羞 (shy). Well yesterday we were in the elevator and all these people got on (probably 8). We were not going to have him greet that many people so we just smiled and looked at the wall ourselves. He looked at the people, looked at us, and then said "媽媽我害羞" (mommy I'm shy). Such a funny kid.

To be Fair

I figured I couldn't just pick on Kasper, so here's a poo entry for Mayah too! Here is Mayah's hard-at-work look. Notice the red and watery eyes, the intense look of concentration on her face, the 110% effort that she puts in...



Yup...this one's not going to be a slacker. No siree!

(Although the poo that came out of this hard work session turned out to be only the size of a gumball. =P)

Potty Trained!!!

Okay I love a good poo story and I've got 2 so I have to blog about it. :) Hopefully I'll redeem myself from my dryspell.

We've been trying to potty train Kasper for probably 9 months now and it's been ups and downs. He got the peeing thing down about a month ago, and even went to underwear at school and home for the past 2 weeks. He still wears a diaper going out and about ...just in case.

Poo Story #1 - The BIG Poo!
Well on Sunday night Kasper runs to me and says he has to poo, so I pull out his little potty and sit him down. After Mmming a bit he ends up with a BIG soft served cone shape of poo about the size of a pomelo. It was pretty big. I did the whole cheering bit, cleaned his bum and sent him on his way!

Well I apparently didn't let him sit long enough because 10 seconds later he returns looking stunned, bow-legged with his hands cradling his bum saying "Mama! Oh no! Poo poo!" I look inside and find a baseball sized poo sitting in his underwear! After some "Oh no's!" and laughing and "you need to tell me before you poo" I put him in the bath tub and then...

"Mama! Oh no! More poo poo!" he starts pooing 2 golf sized bits in the bath tub! I totally lost it there :D but knew I had to clean the poor guy up. Sigh...

But Kasper's poo story does not end there...No!....

Poo Story #2 - Run for it!
Today we took a stroll out after dinner cause Taipei finally warmed up...a little. I had to take Mayah to the doctor so our helper J took Kasper to the park to play. She offered him 5 slides down the slide before walking back home. He did one slide and proceeded to say "Go home!" J then said "But you can do 5 slides! You don't want to play?" Kasper says "No! Go home! Go home!"

And so they walk home. Apparently much faster than when we walked to the park.

Once they're home, Kasper yells "Ah yee! Poo poo! Poo poo!" She tells him to wait, but he takes off his shoes, runs to the bathroom, pulls out his potty (which had been converted to a step stool), converts it to a potty, sits down and poos! By the time J is in the bathroom he is done! 1st time ever man! Amazing!

Needless to say he got lots of praises and treats tonight! :D

2 words for 1!

Today I decided to do a little research on what experts say you should do to teach 2 languages to pre-schoolers...OR even if you should do it! Well of course the experts are not in agreement but I found a pretty interesting article & video on a dual language kindergarten here. It seems like a lot of research is done with dual language pre-schoolers who are learning English & Spanish. Would love to see more research on learning Chinese & English! Let me know if you find anything interesting!

Today I also caught a glimpse of how amazing the human brain works. I don't know how Kasper gets it that an object can have more than 1 name in different languages but today he decided to enjoy the word "Soup" (he kept calling it SOOOOUUUP!) even though he knew it was also called "Tang Tang 湯湯". I know there are other words he does that with like cars, dog, socks, spoon...but it was really apparent today when he said it one after the other.

There's hope for him yet! :)

P.S. I should say some words for our poor second child too! She is developing SO quickly. Can crawl now, sits for about 1-2 min on her own, loves to sing, and recently learned hot to shake her head when she doesn't want something (usually food). :) She is super adorable!

Merry Christmas!

Our 4th year in Taiwan and our 1st Christmas here. Definitely different without the snow, but we are very thankful for all the blessings that God has given us.

Praying that all of you are enjoying love, joy and peace this holiday season.

With love,
Sandra, Ray, Kasper & Mayah

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Christmas, Family & Traditions

Merry Christmas everyone!

This is our first Christmas in Taiwan. It's actually been a very good reflective time for me. I think not being in North America where Christmas is so "obvious" has made me more intentional about Christmas this year. It actually has helped me to more consciously think about Christmas and the AWESOMENESS that it represents. How AMAZING that God became a human over 2000 years ago just to be closer to me....to us.

Growing up in a non-Christian home, Christmas is much more a time for family traditions than it is of Christ-centered traditions. As I've been surrounded by saints here in Taiwan, and observing different ways that their families celebrate Christmas, I've also been reflecting more about how Ray & I might want to establish traditions for our home. Especially as Kasper is becoming more aware of his surroundings.

Still not sure what that looks like, but we're starting small this year. We'll start with a telling of the Christmas Story. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully Kasper will get a little bit. Hopefully he won't just associate Christmas with 聖誕老公公 (Sheng Dan Lao Gong Gong - Santa Claus). He's been learning about Santa in pre-school.

In the meantime...here's a Christmas song that I've been finding very meaningful this Christmas...and a family picture (taken courtesy of Mrs K). Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and lots of love!

Language Woes

So I've been internally struggling lately, with what language I should speak to Kasper & Mayah with. Ray & I have leaned towards speaking Mandarin but as I try to trudge through Kasper's pre-school stories, and parent letters I realize that my Mandarin is really really terrible. How could I make that his primary language? But then I think again... Mandarin seems more useful than Cantonese, and English will just come naturally to him right? And so my internal debate continues.

I've also been trying to learn and teach Kasper various rhymes lately too. I feel like I need to inject more dialogue and stories into the boy to increase his language skills. Every day when I pick him up after school from daycare I sing him my standard 氹氹轉 (tum tum jun - spinning round and round), Jack & Jill, Eency Weency Spider while riding him home on my bike. I figure I have a captive audience. Hopefully the words will sink in SOMEtime. And in fact, I think they have. I've caught him mimicking the sound patterns of the rhymes while playing sometimes.

Meanwhile, his favorite words are still non-specific, generic words for anything: 這個 (this one), this or 好 (okay - which he often says even if it's not what he wants)

Sigh...I really wish God could give me more wisdom. It's probably what I lack most!

Sentence TWO!

媽媽妹妹哭哭！
Mommy little sister is crying!

I love our boy!

Following Daddy's Footsteps

So after a sad morning for daddy, Kasper follows up with a super compliment!

On his way down to play with daddy in our apartment foyer area, he puts on his crocs by himself and then proceeds to try to use the shoe horn on BOTH feet JUST LIKE DADDY! Although daddy usually uses the shoe horn to help him get his shoes on, Kasper decided to use it after the shoes were already on. =P

What a funny guy!

A full sentence!

So this morning Kasper spoke in a sentence. He unfortunately said, "No Saek Saek Daddy." Which means "No Kissing Daddy".

Poor Daddy.

1 + 1 = 2

So we're into month 3 of having 2 kids. I think we're getting better but we've had quite a few adventures along the way. I honestly don't know how single parents do it. It's hard enough having 2 kids with Ray & a helper, but all by yourself?! Gee whiz.

Some of our tougher parts have been toilet training Kasper in Mayah's first month of life (I honestly don't know why I picked that time...maybe school pressure?) and our most recent adventure has been Kasper getting Hand, Foot & Mouth disease. (NOT to be confused with Mad cow disease or Foot & Mouth disease.)

Kasper's been a pretty healthy baby. His last illness was in December when we went back to Canada. He had a cold and runny nose that immediately got better coming back to Taiwan. Well, about a week ago, Kasper came home early from school because he had a fever. The fever developed into a sore throat, and then into spots all over his arms & legs & mouth area. We later found out how contagious he was and had to pretty much quarantine him. It's tough to do that when you have 2 kids. Needless to say there was a lot of handwashing, clothes changing and TV watching for Kasper. I'm thankful that Mayah is so easy as a baby. After a good feed, burp and change, she pretty much plays by herself watching the mobile until she sleeps. At night we've gotten more playing time together but she was pretty neglected during the day. =P Hopefully she won't develop 2nd child syndrome. =P

Here's a video of our sweet girl Mayah doing tummy time. The crying sound in the background is Kasper. =P She's got amazing upper body strength, :) and she's so talkative and smiley.... I really can just eat her up!

The Magic 魚魚 (fish)

When Kasper was born, he was given this little blue stuffed rattle toy that was a fish. He is very attached to this fish, but because he likes to chew on it, it gets rather stinky. So before he goes to bed we always tell him to put it away so he's not chewing on a stinky toy all night.

Well for the past month or so, we've been having the following conversations with him.

7:00 am - Kasper cries in his room. "Wah! Wah!"
7:01 am - Ray walks into his room. Speaks to Kasper in Mandarin. "It's not time to wake up yet. Do you want your 魚魚 (Yuyu)?"
- Kasper replies "好! (hao - okay!)"
- Ray gives Kasper the 魚魚 and says "Okay. Now go back and sleep a little longer!"
- Kasper replies "好! (hao - okay!)"
- Ray leaves the room, closes the door. Kasper sleeps for another 30 min. or so.

Here's a picture of Kasper's 魚魚


Here's a picture of Kasper's 2nd piece of artwork at school. Do you see a resemblance to 魚魚?

Mourning a Natural Birth

Okay. So I know there are a lot more things that one can mourn over besides not being able to have a natural birth.

I mean I can only imagine the grief and pain that Rachel, Sarah, Hannah and Elizabeth must have felt not being able to bear a child for such a long period of time before God granted them with a son ... and in their old age! Then there are those who gave birth only to have their sons taken away like Bathsheba, Naomi and countless many others. And then there are those who must have pleaded with God, but remained barren.

But isn't that how the human heart works? We're full of desires and wishes. We pray to God, but really it's a wish list.

I was hoping that Mei Mei would be born before my friends left Taiwan...but well it turns out the Doctor's due date was way more accurate than my internal due date. I was really hoping for a natural birth (I don't really know why since it was God's punishment for woman that "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children." so it's not as if it's a really PLEASANT thing to go through)...but somehow the labour process of childbirth and then picturing Mei Mei at the end of the hard work was something I was looking forward to.

The doctor says there are some thin spots in my uterus that increases the risk of a uterine rupture if I try for a VBAC and so he advises a scheduled C-section instead. Well I'm pretty sure it's the right decision to make. I'd rather Mei Mei and I be safe.

I think I just need to resort back to leaning on God. He continuously reminds me how I tend to lean on myself and my hopes...and His are always so much better.

Proverbs 3
⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Waiting....

So for Kasper, he just came. Before I was really ready. Now I'm ready, and .... nothing. Sigh. I hate waiting. But maybe that's what God wants me learn. To wait, for his time.

Well in the meantime I'm getting lots done!
- Finished my TV shows
- Getting some reading in
- Fixed Kasper's car seat, hook, and framed his artwork
- Up to date on Facebook
- Reading blogs...

Then came across this video on my friend's blog about my school. I really love the school that I work at right now. Thought I'd share the video with you too so you know what it's about. :)

School makes you SMARTER!

Kasper started school today. Sniff* Sniff* He did really well. He had some tears, but remembered to wash his hands before eating, and shared his food willingly with others. He had trouble focusing on one toy for more than 5 min. but I attribute that to him being only 1 year 8 months, and a BOY. :)

So, amazing thing. BEFORE school, Kasper has been having some difficulty with putting shapes in those shape sorter toys, and putting puzzles in the right place. Tonight, after dinner, instead of his usual ritual of whining to watch Chao Hu (This great tiger video that teaches kids in Mandarin how to brush their teeth, potty, cut vegetables, etc. Here's a video about rabbits. No kidding, Kasper LOVES this stuff!), he picked up a magnetic shape puzzle and proceeded to make art with the shapes.

But that's not all! THEN he put most of the shapes back in the correct spot (except for 1 of the semi-circles and the triangles, but those shapes are HARD!).

Imagine that?! School does make you SMARTER!

Pit-Pat Pit-Pat

Honestly! Where does time go! I can't believe that Kasper is really becoming a little boy.

Last week I counted 30+ words that he can say in various languages (Cantonese, Mandarin, English - I didn't count his sign language). He can understand a lot more than he can say. Here are some of the highlights.

• "Goo goo" of course, which usually means mushrooms but can also mean meat, or anything else he likes to eat. (Cantonese)
• "Nai Nai" = milk (Cantonese or Mandarin)
• "Bei Bei" = nose (Cantonese)
• "Tse Tse" = car (Cantonese or Mandarin)
• "Up" = up (English)
• "Mut mut" = sock (Cantonese)
• "Sek Sek" = kiss (Cantonese)
• "Cheese" = cheese (English)
• "Goo" = good (English)
  

And then, today, after a very busy morning, he fell asleep in the car. So instead of putting him in his bed, we put him in our bed for his afternoon nap. 2 hours later, while Ray and I are watching TV, we hear - the Pit-pat Pit-pat of feet and who should appear but our little boy, all bleary eyed and frowning. He had crawled out of bed himself and found us in the living room.

Tomorrow he starts his first day at Montessori. 2 1/2 hours every morning. We're hoping he'll pick up more Mandarin.

Sigh! Such a big boy!

Everything Good is "Goo Goo"

So we've come to discover that among cheese, ice cream and bread, one of Kasper's new favourite foods is mushrooms or "goo goo" in Chinese (correctly spelled as "gu gu" in pinyin). He can literally eat 1/2 a bowl of mushrooms in a meal and be as happy as a lark.

Well due to his limited vocabulary, he has also started calling balloons, cars, his stuffed animals and anything else he wants/likes "goo goo" too.

Here's a recent conversation we had.
- Kasper pointing at water: "Goo goo"
- Mommy: "No Kasper. That's shui shui."
- Kasper: "Hao. Goo goo." (meaning okay)
- Mommy: "Kasper. It's shui shui."
- Kasper: "Hao."
- Daddy laughs. Mommy sighs.

Wouldn't it be great if everything good was just called "Goo goo"?