Mourning a Natural Birth

Okay. So I know there are a lot more things that one can mourn over besides not being able to have a natural birth.

I mean I can only imagine the grief and pain that Rachel, Sarah, Hannah and Elizabeth must have felt not being able to bear a child for such a long period of time before God granted them with a son ... and in their old age! Then there are those who gave birth only to have their sons taken away like Bathsheba, Naomi and countless many others. And then there are those who must have pleaded with God, but remained barren.

But isn't that how the human heart works? We're full of desires and wishes. We pray to God, but really it's a wish list.

I was hoping that Mei Mei would be born before my friends left Taiwan...but well it turns out the Doctor's due date was way more accurate than my internal due date. I was really hoping for a natural birth (I don't really know why since it was God's punishment for woman that "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children." so it's not as if it's a really PLEASANT thing to go through)...but somehow the labour process of childbirth and then picturing Mei Mei at the end of the hard work was something I was looking forward to.

The doctor says there are some thin spots in my uterus that increases the risk of a uterine rupture if I try for a VBAC and so he advises a scheduled C-section instead. Well I'm pretty sure it's the right decision to make. I'd rather Mei Mei and I be safe.

I think I just need to resort back to leaning on God. He continuously reminds me how I tend to lean on myself and my hopes...and His are always so much better.

Proverbs 3
⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.